Leadership with Emotional Intelligence

Arriving Ready to Learn

An essential part of the school day is conducted and completed before the bell for the first lesson starts.  Many international schools adopt a holistic approach to learning throughout the community in which they serve, this includes aspects such as social and emotional support.  In the unexpected world of education, students can arrive each day with an array of feelings, experiences and emotions, how do we react to this?  

Being warm, approachable and visible outside the front of the school when students arrive can facilitate the wellbeing needs and sense of belonging for all.  These caring, connecting and reassuring touch points at the start of the day by familiar faces can allay most fears, worries and apprehension for the day ahead. 

Indeed, this ‘first port of call’ can offer the staff team indispensable information and insight that can provide timely intervention or a proactive solution.  At the very minimum the smile, greeting or comments can foster a positive feeling, nurturing tenderness or spark an exciting energy ahead of a day of lessons and learning.  Consistently welcoming students each morning helps to recognise, manage and alleviate worries.  These are Emotional Intelligence skills that are used significantly with all members of the community and throughout all interactions during the school day.  

An example of this occurred one morning, as a student arrived at school very emotional and visibly upset. This can sometimes be challenging for staff to see especially if a student arrives in a heightened emotional state at the start of the day.  A member of staff at the front of the school, remained calm, approached the student, in a caring and considerate manner, this demonstrated self-awareness and managing emotions of oneself and others.  They moved to a space to continue the conversation.  

Next, the teacher showed active listening and empathy to connect with the student enabling a safe environment to express their feelings and to be heard.  The communication style of the member of staff demonstrated strong empathy, showing patience and understanding during the concern raised by the student about their friendship group.  After the initial conversation and through the following weeks. The teacher was able to work with the student further along with another member of staff to cultivate self-awareness skills such as mindfulness, mood-tracking, journaling and reflection exercises.  This provided tools for the student to apply in potential future situations.  It had a positive impact on the wellbeing of the student and equipped them to start to make progress with social skills, identifying triggers and implementing strategies.

Defining Emotional Intelligence

Salovey & Mayer (1990) defined Emotional Intelligence as “the ability to monitor one’s own and others’ feelings and emotions, to discriminate among them and use this information to guide one’s thinking and actions”.  They believed that all individuals possessed the ability to leverage their emotions to enhance thinking.

According to Goleman (2002) there are four domains/quadrants, self-awareness, self-management, social awareness and relationship management.  

1. Self-awareness: is used to read and understand your own emotions.  

2. Self management: covers the ability to manage your own emotions.  

3. Social awareness: helps notice the emotions of others in various social situations. 

4. Relationship management: pulls together the other three above and is the final quadrant as it enables a person to take on their own emotions, the emotions of others, and to manage social interactions.

With plentiful interactions and collaboration abundant throughout a busy school environment in which students are constantly learning and exploring in real time, Emotional Intelligence has a firm place in education.  Empirical research supports the belief that Emotional Intelligence has the potential to influence decision making, health, relationships, and performance in both professional and academic settings Brackett et al (2013). 

The Importance of Emotional Intelligence

Emotional Intelligence is a skill of great importance for any leader in education.  It can be the driving force when building trust, improving communication and developing relationships. 

‘Empathy’ as reported by (Forbes, 2021) is the most important leadership skill according to research, it is essential for happiness and performance and tops the list for enhancing innovation and retention.  The same research showed 50% of people with empathetic leaders reported their workplace was inclusive, compared with only 17% of those with less empathetic leadership.

A famous Goleman (1998) quote is “Emotional Intelligence is the sine qua non of leadership”.  This is true in every facet as a school is built on relationships, connections and compassion.

As stated by Eurich (2018) 95% of people think they’re self-aware, but only 10 to 15% actually are, and this could potentially impact the whole school approach from your staff team if Emotional Intelligence is overlooked.  A community focus on this key topic could align students, parents and staff with the use of language, strategies and learning environment. 

This shows there is a need for Emotional Intelligence development in the workplace and a conversation about how all members of the community can be supported and move forward together.

Developing Emotional Intelligence

These skills can be developed by anyone and everyone at any time.  Here are a few ideas that you can get started with to try different aspects of the four quadrants above:

1. Reflection/Journaling or writing a diary

2. Pay attention to your own emotions

3. Look at yourself objectively

4. Acknowledge your emotional triggers

5. Eat well, create a schedule and be healthy

6. Demonstrate positive thinking

7. Writing personal goals

8. Active listening and develop empathy

9. Acknowledge what others are saying

10. Try to network and be approachable

When Emotional Intelligence is visible, understood and applied this can lead to a greater impact on learners and learning in a school environment.  A plan to integrate the powerful use of Emotional Intelligence can be shared with all stakeholders in the school community.  A plan to signpost, explain and further embed Emotional Intelligence is key.

Conclusion: The Importance of Emotional Intelligence

In summary, Emotional Intelligence skills are used frequently across the day by all staff and this is heavily influenced by the role and actions of the leaders.  Leading with Emotional Intelligence, can build a stronger, happier and healthier team.  

I would recommend that Emotional Intelligence:

1. Is included on your Professional Development Programme for all staff.

2. Training courses and strategies are shared with staff.

3. Is practiced, signposted and celebrated in the community to embed best practice.

Further ideas can be found in the links below in the references.

If you have any further thoughts or suggestions please leave them in the comments section below this article.

Finally, a wonderful quote from Stephen R. Covey (2016) that articulates this point, “When you listen with empathy to another person, you give that person psychological air.”

I hope we all look forward to meeting, greeting and listening to everyone at the start of a new day tomorrow…

https://youtu.be/VNlCh_DTIBg

Useful Video links:

Active Listening: 6 Tips for Active Listening

Managing Your Emotions: 7 Tips to Manage your Emotions

Emotional Intelligence: A UDEMY Course.

References

“7 Habits of Highly Effective People.” Franklin Covey,

https://www.franklincovey.com/the-7-habits/

“50 Tips for Improving your emotional Intelligence.” Roche Martin, 

https://www.rochemartin.com/blog/50-tips-improving-emotional-intelligence

Brackett, M. A., Bertoli, M., Elbertson, N., Bausseron, E., Castillo, R., and Salovey, P. (2013). Reconceptualizing the cognition-emotion link. In M. D. Robinson, E. R. Watkins, E. Harmon-Jones (Eds.), Handbook of Cognition and Emotion (pp. 365-379). New York, NY: Guilford.

“Emotional Intelligence” Yale University,

https://nobaproject.com/modules/emotional-intelligence 

“Emotional Intelligence Skills: What they are and how to develop them.” Harvard Business Review, https://online.hbs.edu/blog/post/emotional-intelligence-skills

“Empathy is the most important leadership skill.” Forbes,

https://www.forbes.com/sites/tracybrower/2021/09/19/empathy-is-the-most-important-leadership-skill-according-to-research/ 

“Habit 5 seek first to understand then to be understood” Covey,

https://www.franklincovey-benelux.com/en/resources/habit-5-seek-first-to-understand-then-to-be-understood/ 

“Working with People Who Aren’t Self-Aware.” Harvard Business Review,

https://hbr.org/2018/10/working-with-people-who-arent-self-aware

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Published by Dr. Paul Walton. @paultwalton

Principal, Educator, Leadership Coach.